Step 1. Get a big hat. Wait. No, start again.

Step 1. Start scoring for the local hockey league.

Step 2. Find a player that sets your hormones pumping and doesn't smell like old socks when he gets slammed into the boards right in front of you. In this case we'll call him Number 2, since I have no imagination.

Step 3. Wait until he sets a very specific other player up for a goal and...

Step 4. When the ref skates off after saying "69 from 2" accidentally say out loud. "That would be a very fine thing."

Step 5. Duck.

Or you could just wait until she's criticising the goalie and says, "He goes down every time he even thinks somethings going to happen." and tell her, "Great boyfriend, bad goalie."

Do both in one night and she may just end up catatonic.